I think it’s better sometimes to just admit that you will always have a weird connection with someone but choosing not to pursue that relationship, be it a friendly or romantic one because nothing good can ever come out of it. As hard as it may seem, we can acknowledge that both are within our nature: to want connection, and to pursue self-preservation. Those conflicting feelings can exist, and it’s best to let yourself process those feelings without necessarily making any decisions based off either one of them. You can make your peace about feeling nostalgic for a relationship that never really happened the way you wanted it to, and move on with your life, trying to find connections with different people that don’t leave you so conflicted. Remember those feelings are not bad in their own nature, they just are. They just exist. And if you can allow them to exist and you can process them (sometimes a good therapist can help with that), the easier it will become to resolve them, or to let go of them and get on with your life, with your own contentment.
